Have you ever been at a restaurant or in a store and the server or clerk calls you “honey” or “sweetheart”? I, personally, can’t stand it when someone calls me this, even if it’s done with the best of intentions. This is condescending in my opinion and usually done by someone much younger than I am.
We tend to “talk down” to seniors as well. It’s not our intention, it’s just something we do, and we need to be more aware of it and change the way we speak to them and about them.
A lot of seniors think of their caregivers as “babysitters” we must emphasize they are caregivers and are there to make sure nothing happens to them. Explain to them that as you cannot be there, someone must prepare their meals because they can’t cook or carry plates to the table any longer. Let them know the caregiver is not there to babysit them, they are there to assist them. The caregiver is there to make their bed, do their laundry, and clean their bathroom as they are no longer able to do those things either.
Another important thing is using the word “diaper.” Please don’t use this word if your senior is incontinent. Call them what they are, whether they are Depends, or pads, or whatever, just don’t call them diapers, because babies wear diapers.
Remember: small changes make big differences.
Thinking about the words you use; how do you convince your loved one it’s time to move into an assisted living community? Please don’t use the word “facility,” this word brings up ideas of a nursing home or an institution and our assisted living communities are nothing like that. Use words like community or apartment, after all, they are moving into an apartment within a community.
Don’t dwell on their declination, instead stress the positive aspects of the community. Like, senior communities are resort-like living with all your meals included housekeeping, activities, and laundry; you don’t have to do anything unless you want to. You will have so many other people to share movie time with, meals with, play cards with and so many other social gatherings with others.
Should you slip up and use words that make them feel like a child, don’t beat yourself up, just apologize and try better next time. Change takes time, once you start noticing the words you say and the impact they have, the easier it will become to improve. All we really want is for our loved ones to maintain their dignity and be willing to accept the support they need so they can continue to live life to the fullest.
Should you need assistance with any aspect concerning your elder(s), please call us at 386-847-2322. We are Assisted Senior Services.
Maya Angelou said it best,
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
— Maya Angelou
