A Hard Week in Caregiving

Newton White • March 16, 2021

Working my Pathway, having just completed level one I had only peeked at the next step and contemplated tonight to be for whatever was the first required speech.

That is as far as my planning for toastmasters got.

You see it was a rough week since we last met and a hard week before that.

There was no great traumatic crisis, just a series of seizures over a couple of days and signs of further descent into dementia-like cognitive loss my loved one is experiencing.

You see my role has changed from husband to caregiver, hers from my always vibrant, positive, adventurous, independent, self-reliant, brilliant, and loving partner to my Loved One my Care-ee as I have coined the title.

I titled this a hard week caregiving.

So what is caregiving?

What does it mean when someone says they are taking care of mom, dad, or their spouse?

In truth, I believe it to be one of those experiences that defy description because words have not been created to express the particular emotions and experiences, and events a Caregiver has.

Maybe I can tell some of the generalities by comparison to being a parent. Caring for a person, Loved One as many support groups euphuism for one’s wife, husband, or parent, is in my estimation, having never had children, like being a parent only in reverse.

You start with the person you had hoped your child would be and go backward.

Newborn babies are totally dependent on their life but grow and develop their life skills and become autonomous and independent people.

Alzheimer’s Dementia reverses that process, one seemingly small quirky thing leads to another, it will seem so benign but like a cancer for which there is no treatment sooner or later, it will become apparent. As a child learns and becomes self-sufficient, a care-ee loses each skill and trait, becomes an expert liar deceiver to hide their shortcomings as it moves forward.

Every person’s path is different but some of the things a caregiver and care-ee face are:

The loss of friends and family support and contact. Sadly over time the quirky, cooky, sometimes inappropriate behaviors, fear of the unknowns result in even your best friends pulling away. You realize so and so did not send you an invitation, or went to a concert and never mentioned it.

Being socially ostracized both become lonely bringing its own depression and despair. Maybe people don’t realize caregivers can and need to be out with people by themselves, and the care-ee is ok.

30% of caregivers die before their loved ones. The emotional, financial, and physical stresses are overwhelming.

For the majority, burnout is common leading to high blood pressure, hypertension, obesity, depression lack of self-care, poor general health, and even suicide.

That is far from a complete inventory.

A caregiver has given up their life and time to be the caregiver much like a mom, a parent, does for their child. Each phase brings a time that instead of giving freedom or task and passing a milestone on the way to self-sufficiency, that you must take away restrict your loved one from an activity till even the most simple things like what clothing to wear or grooming needs prompts.

Remember when you had to be reminded to put shoes on, comb your hair and brush your teeth, now you have to remind them the same ways.

Caregiving is a very personal experience, and nobody wants to listen except maybe other caregivers, you do have to be one to know what it is.

The support groups, online blogs, and pages bring some comfort but also an ominous foreshadowing of the stages to come. The euphuisms that try to soften the harsh realities like “transition” or “earned their wings”.

You do not put them in a home you transition them to it.

Anything to describe the madding perseverations or obsessive behaviors, that leave you seeking respite care and a vacation day.

That too comes with odd emotions.

What was the hard week?

Epilepsy, her nemesis since her preteen years, the result of a traumatic car accident that took her mother’s life. It has been controlled most of her life but never completely.

As aging through menopause worsened taking her away from a career in retail management, and photo lab supervisor to being disabled.

pause

She suffered a few seizures, a couple of weeks ago, three that we know of, one I was with her.

Think of witnessing your most loved person uncontrollably thrashing and distressed, the seconds seem like minutes then they settle into a semi-conscious postictal state you believe it will be ok now.

There is not much you can do for someone suffering a seizure, clear their path, get them safely to the ground, do not hold or try and restrain them, and be near but not crowded when they are emerging into and from the postictal state. Your thought will run the course of, is this it, what more can I do, you remember she does not want to be resuscitated, or “saved”, you ask yourself, can I do that, do nothing? You tell yourself you must, that was your promise to her when she was all there, it was the promise all along during your adventures and fun times, you must honor it now.

The seizure passed and in the days to come a few new or unnoticed before quirks, or behaviors and things forgotten have emerged.

What changes will it bring to the day-to-day, what tasks of everyday life will I have to assume and provide for?

Our home is becoming more like a nursery full of safety features. Maybe it will soon be time to put locks on doors and drawers, get rid of more breakables and sharp objects. How do I restrict her phone? These and more questions race when you notice a descent into the abyss of dementia, maybe I can breathe a little if we plateau and I can adjust to the newest stage of purgatory.

That’s a hard week in caregiving.

If you need help or encouragement as a Caregiver give us a call at  386-847-2322  or check out our  Caregiver Support Group. Our  Senior Advisors  are here to walk with you through this journey.

Why Are Seniors Always So Cold?

By Donna Nichols • March 9, 2026
If you’ve ever walked into a room full of older adults and noticed the sweaters, shawls, and space heaters humming in the corner, you’re not imagining it — many seniors really do feel colder than everyone else. And it’s not just a quirk. There are real, physical reasons behind it, and understanding them can make daily life a lot more comfortable. 1. Our Internal Thermostat Changes Over Time As we age, the body becomes less efficient at regulating temperature. The internal “thermostat” in the brain doesn’t respond as quickly to cold, so seniors may feel chilly even when the room is warm enough for others. 2. Less Muscle = Less Heat Muscle mass naturally decreases with age, and muscle is what helps generate body heat. With less of it, the body simply produces less warmth. Even active seniors may notice they get cold more easily than they used to. 3. Thinner Skin and Reduced Circulation Skin becomes thinner over time, offering less insulation. On top of that, circulation often slows, meaning warm blood takes longer to reach hands, feet, and other extremities. This is why fingers and toes are often the first to feel icy. 4. Medications Can Play a Role Many common medications — including those for blood pressure, thyroid issues, or depression — can affect how warm or cold someone feels. It’s not always the medication itself, but how it interacts with the body’s temperature signals. 5. Underlying Health Conditions Conditions like anemia, diabetes, thyroid disorders, or poor circulation can all contribute to feeling cold. Sometimes, persistent chilliness is the body’s way of asking for a check-in with a healthcare provider. 6. Hydration and Nutrition Matter More Than You Think Dehydration and low-calorie intake can both make the body feel colder. Seniors who don’t drink enough water or who eat lightly may notice they’re chilly more often. Simple Ways to Stay Warm and Comfortable • Layer up with breathable fabrics • Keep moving — even gentle stretching boosts circulation • Warm beverages throughout the day • Use blankets or heated throws safely • Check room drafts and adjust thermostat settings • Talk with a doctor if coldness is new or worsening A Warm Note to Close Feeling cold isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a natural part of aging. With a few small adjustments and a little awareness, seniors can stay cozy, comfortable, and confident all year long.

How the Spring Season Helps Us Heal

By Donna Nichols • March 3, 2026
Spring has a way of softening the world. The air warms, the light lingers, and suddenly the small things — a bird call, a new bloom, a gentle breeze — feel like invitations to breathe a little deeper. For many seniors, especially those carrying grief, stress, or the weight of a long winter, March can feel like a quiet turning point. Here’s why spring so often brings emotional renewal, no matter your age. 1. Light Returns, and So Does Energy Longer days naturally lift mood. More sunlight helps regulate sleep, boosts energy, and gently nudges the body out of winter’s heaviness. Even a few minutes outside can shift the way the day feels. 2. Nature Models Healing Spring is a season of second chances. Trees bud again, flowers push through the soil, and the world rebuilds itself without rushing. For seniors navigating loss or change, this slow, steady renewal can feel reassuring — a reminder that healing isn’t linear, but it is possible. 3. Movement Feels More Natural Warmer weather encourages small steps: a walk to the mailbox, a few minutes on the porch, tending to a plant. These simple movements help ease stiffness, improve mood, and reconnect the body with the world around it. 4. Social Life Blossoms Too As the weather improves, people naturally come out of hibernation. Neighbors chat outside, community events pick up, and families gather more often. Even brief interactions can brighten a day and reduce feelings of isolation. 5. Spring Encourages Reflection — and Release There’s something about fresh air and open windows that invites a mental reset. Many seniors find themselves sorting through memories, letting go of what no longer serves them, and making space for what’s next. A Season That Meets You Where You Are Spring doesn’t demand big changes. It simply offers gentle reminders: you’re still growing, still healing, still here. Whether you’re grieving, rebuilding, or simply ready for a lighter season, March brings a quiet kind of hope — one that arrives softly and stays.
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Winter Wellness: Staying Safe and Steady in February

By Donna Nichols • February 5, 2026
February may not bring snow to Florida, but it still carries its own kind of winter — cooler mornings, shorter days, and a natural pull toward staying indoors. For older adults, this season is a gentle reminder to slow down, stay steady, and take good care of body and spirit. A Season for Paying Attention Winter has a way of making us less aware of our bodies. We move a little slower. We drink less water. We stay inside longer. These small shifts can affect balance, energy, and overall well‑being. The good news is that a few simple habits can make February feel safer, brighter, and more comfortable. Keep Your Space Safe and Well‑Lit Falls often happen not because of weakness, but because of poor lighting or clutter. A few small adjustments can make a big difference. • Turn on the lights before walking into a room • Keep pathways clear of shoes, bags, or small rugs • Use nightlights in hallways and bathrooms • Make sure frequently used items are within easy reach A safe home is a confident home. Supportive Shoes — Even Indoors Many seniors prefer slippers or socks inside, but these can be slippery or unstable. Supportive shoes with a good grip help prevent falls and maintain strong posture. Think of them as your indoor “winter boots” — steady, comfortable, and protective. Hydration Matters, Even When It’s Cool When the weather isn’t hot, it’s easy to forget to drink water. But hydration affects everything: energy, digestion, mood, and even balance. Try keeping a glass of water near your favorite chair or sipping warm herbal tea throughout the day. Your body will feel the difference. Stay Organized with Medications Winter is a good time to check in with your medication routine. • Are your pill organizers easy to open • Do you have refills ready • Are your medications stored in a visible, convenient place A little organization prevents missed doses and reduces stress. Connection Keeps the Cold Away Even in sunny Florida, winter can feel isolating. Shorter days and quieter routines can make anyone feel a bit lonely. Reach out to someone this month — a friend, a neighbor, a family member. A five‑minute conversation can warm the whole day. If you’re part of a senior community or church group, February is a wonderful time to join an activity, attend a luncheon, or simply sit with others. Human connection is one of the best wellness tools we have. Gentle Movement Keeps You Strong You don’t need a gym or a long walk to stay active. Try: • Light stretching in the morning • Standing up and sitting down a few times to strengthen your legs • A slow walk around the house or yard • Simple balance exercises while holding onto a counter Movement keeps joints flexible, muscles strong, and spirits lifted. A Month for Self‑Kindness February invites us to be gentle with ourselves. To rest when we need to. To move when we can. To reach out when we feel alone. To take small steps that help us feel safe, steady, and cared for. Winter won’t last forever — but the habits you build now can support you all year long.