You Can’t Parent Your Parent

Donna Nichols • March 25, 2021

You Can’t Parent Your Parent – Or Can You?

So, you think you can’t parent your parents no matter what, well think again.

The key to turning the tables is communication!

How exactly do you do this when they won’t listen?

First, remember it’s very hard for them to hear they can no longer do the things they used to. They are the ones who raised families, worked all their adulthood (some beginning in teenage years), ran businesses, carpools, and took care of YOU!

 Now you are taking care of them and it’s extremely difficult for them to deal with; it scares them!

To find out more about what scares them, read our blog titled, What are Seniors Top Fears ? You might be surprised what they’re afraid of.

There are ways to effectively communicate with them so they don’t feel like a child. Make sure you talk to them, not at them, don’t scold them, praise them. Have respect and consideration when speaking to your parents, this is new for you and them please don’t talk down to them.

Remember how it felt when someone spoke down to you as a child? This is how it makes them feel too! Please don’t do it.

You Can't Parent Your Parent...or can you?

Let’s say your mom can no longer drive. Instead of telling her, “Mom, you can’t drive anymore because you can’t see, end of story.” Turn the tables and say something like, “Mom, I really don’t want you driving anymore because I can’t sleep at night worrying about you. I’m afraid you might get into an accident, will you please stop driving for me?”

No one likes to be yelled at or spoken to harshly, but if your mom thinks she’s doing you harm, she’s more likely to give up driving.

Don’t think you know what’s best for your mom or dad either.

You probably have no idea what they really want. You may think your dad wants you to hire a lawn guy, but maybe that’s his only outlet and he enjoys it.

Always ask before you make any kind of decision on their behalf.

Perhaps your parents no longer want the hassle of the upkeep on the house, but you don’t want them to leave it and you’re not ready to move into it or sell. So, you say you’ll hire all these people to help them with everything under the sun.

What are you really doing?

You’re creating more expenses for them and they’re still not happy.

Instead, ask them what they want to do. Do they want to stay in the house? Do they want to move to a condo? Do they want to move into an assisted living community?

If they choose to move into an assisted living community, they can start off in independent living and transfer into assisted living as their needs increase.

Should they require even more care than assisted living; most communities also have memory care.

You will need to ensure you find the right community so they only move one time! This is extremely important, that’s why you need a placement service or senior advisor to assist you!

Moving can be very upsetting and Assisted Living Made Simple wants it to happen one time and one time only.

If you need help or encouragement as a Caregiver give us a call at  386-847-2322 or check out our  Caregiver Support Group. Our  Senior Advisors  are here to walk with you through this journey.

What do Seniors Want?

By Donna Nichols • May 7, 2025
Aging isn’t about slowing down—it’s about living more deliberately. As people age, their priorities shift from chasing time to cherishing it. So, what do seniors truly want? The answer is as diverse as the individuals themselves, but some clear themes emerge when we listen closely. 1. Connection and Community One of the most important things seniors crave is connection. Meaningful relationships bring joy and purpose, whether with family, old friends, or new acquaintances. Many seek social opportunities through clubs, senior centers, classes, or online communities. Loneliness can be a silent struggle, so companionship is a deeply valued part of life. 2. Respect and Independence Seniors want to be seen for who they are: individuals with a lifetime of experience, knowledge, and stories. Being treated with dignity and not being "talked down to" matters. So does having the freedom to make choices about their own lives. Maintaining a sense of autonomy is key when deciding how to spend their day, what to eat, or where to live. 3. Health and Wellness Staying healthy is more than just avoiding illness—it’s about having the energy to enjoy life. Seniors are increasingly proactive about fitness, mental health, and nutrition. Access to quality healthcare, fitness programs tailored to their needs, and mental stimulation are all top priorities. 4. Purpose and Meaning Retirement doesn’t mean retiring from life. Many seniors want to stay active through volunteering, mentoring, or even starting new ventures. Purpose drives fulfillment, whether taking care of grandchildren, learning a new skill, or contributing to a cause they care about. 5. Security and Peace of Mind Financial stability, safe housing, and access to reliable services give seniors peace of mind. Many are concerned about outliving their savings, dealing with unexpected health issues, or navigating complex systems. Clear information, supportive resources, and a sense of safety help ease these worries. 6. Fun and Adventure Yes—seniors still want fun! Travel, hobbies, music, food, and laughter never go out of style. Joy is ageless, whether it's a road trip, gardening, or dancing to old tunes. Seniors want to experience life, not just watch it pass by. Start by Listening Ultimately, the best way to understand what seniors want is simple: ask them. Every person, no matter their age, has unique preferences, needs, and dreams. When we listen with empathy and engage with respect, we create a world where aging is celebrated, not feared. Let’s build that world together. Call us to help each other enrich the lives of our seniors. 386-847-2322.

Benefits of Assisted Living

By Donna Nichols • May 2, 2025
Assisted living has many benefits, especially for older adults or people needing help with daily activities but not requiring full-time medical care. Here's a quick breakdown: Independence and support Residents get to maintain a level of independence while having access to help with things like: Bathing, dressing, or grooming Medication management Meal preparation So they still have freedom without the stress of handling everything alone. Access to care Staff is usually available 24/7, and while it’s not a nursing home, many places have nurses or aides on hand for basic health needs, depending on their licensure. It’s a safety net in case anything happens. Meals & housekeeping Daily meals, cleaning, laundry, and other chores are usually included, which reduces stress and gives you more time to enjoy life. Social life Assisted living communities often have activities, group outings, and common areas, which can help prevent loneliness and boost mental health. Safety & security These places are designed with safety in mind, such as grab bars, emergency call systems, and accessible layouts. Plus, knowing someone’s always nearby gives peace of mind. Peace of mind (for families, too) Families often feel relieved knowing their loved one is in a supportive environment where help is readily available. As you can see, assisted living has many benefits. If you feel it is unsafe for you or your loved one to live alone, please consider assisted living. It will give you peace of mind and them the safety and security they require.  If you or a loved one is ready to move to assisted living, please call us at 386-847-2322. We are experts in senior care.

What’s in Your Box?

By Donna Nichols • April 8, 2025
What does that mean? It means what’s important to you. What do you want to take with you should you leave your home and move to an assisted living community? Assisted living apartments typically range from 500 to 900 square feet, so if you come from a home that is 2,000 square feet, you will be losing a significant amount of square footage. What’s important to me may not be important to you; it differs for everyone. You’ll want to balance practical needs with personal comforts when thinking about what to bring. Here's a breakdown of what might be in your box and what to consider taking with you: When preparing to move into an assisted living community, the "box" is a metaphor for the essentials or comforts you’re packing to make the space your own. Here’s what could go in that box: Personal Essentials: Clothing: Comfortable, easy-to-wear clothes, including shoes that are safe for walking (like non-slip footwear). Toiletries: Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, lotion, and other personal hygiene items. Medications: A well-organized container for daily meds (check with staff for any medication regulations). Comforting Personal Items: Photographs: Family pictures, old albums, or framed photos of pets can help create a homier feel. Favorite Books or Magazines: If you love to read, packing a few favorite books or magazines can be comforting. Blankets or Throw Pillows: Soft, cozy items that remind you of home. Technology: Cell phone or tablet: Stay in touch with family and friends. If needed, a simple phone with larger buttons might be helpful. Charger and headphones: Keep your devices powered up and ready for entertainment or communication. Entertainment & Hobbies: Crafts, puzzles, or knitting: Hobbies like knitting, crocheting, or painting can offer a good mental boost. Music: A playlist or a device with your favorite tunes. Maybe even a small portable speaker. Documents: Important papers: Health documents, insurance information, and personal identification should always be within easy reach. Safety Items: Walkers or canes: If you use mobility aids, don't forget these items. Glasses and Hearing Aids: Any vision or hearing accessories you rely on to help with daily life. What would you take with you? When moving into an assisted living community, you may not have the space for everything you own, so bringing only the most meaningful and necessary items is important. Here's a breakdown of what to take with you: Personal Care and Health Items: Your medications, medical devices (like CPAP machines), and other health-related essentials should come. Items like hearing aids, glasses, and dentures are crucial to have on hand. Don’t forget a first aid kit with basic items like band-aids, antiseptic wipes, and a thermometer. Bedding and Furniture: Sheets, blankets, and pillows that are soft and familiar. If allowed, take small, comfortable furniture like a favorite chair or nightstand. Decorative Touches: Personal touches such as a family photo frame, a small vase, or your favorite artwork can make a new space feel welcoming. Consider a small rug to help make the room feel warmer and more comfortable. Clothing: Comfortable clothing that suits the climate where you’ll be living. Slippers and non-slip shoes are very important for safety and comfort. Seasonal clothing: Depending on the time of year, pack sweaters, jackets, hats, or lighter clothes. Technology: Smartphone or tablet for keeping in touch with family and friends. A Kindle or e-reader could be a great option if you like to read but want to save space. Tangible Keepsakes: A small heirloom, a favorite book, or a memory box filled with meaningful trinkets can bring emotional comfort in a new place. Food & Kitchen Tools (if allowed): Some assisted living communities may allow you to have a few personal items for snacks, like a mini fridge or microwave in your room. Favorite snacks or special foods you enjoy might be comforting to have on hand. Considerations for Your New Space Each assisted living community has its own rules and space limitations, so it’s a good idea to ask what you can bring and what is already provided. Many communities offer furniture, housekeeping, and even activities, so your primary focus may be personalizing your space with items that truly bring you joy and comfort. Ultimately, the most important things to take will help you feel settled, safe, and supported in this new chapter of your life. What’s in your box for this kind of move? Are there any personal items you would want to make sure are packed?
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