How Do You Help Your Parents When They Don’t Think They Need It?

Donna Nichols • December 4, 2020

When Your Parents Need Help But They Don’t Think They Do…

Here it is December and the holidays are upon us. You are planning on spending time with Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa. You arrive to find things are not what they have always been.

What do you do now?

This is a very common situation we see every day. You talk to them on the phone weekly/daily and you have no idea things are this bad. It’s amazing how they can fool us. It’s not intentional; they believe they are doing just fine.

You could be seeing confusion, lack of short-term memory, sense of being overwhelmed or burdened. Medication could be mismanaged and nutrition and hydration are minimal.

Observe: are they eating properly, taking their medication correctly, drinking water, hydrating?

Are they in a routine? Is one caring for the other?

I see this happening daily in my business; I am a senior advocate. I work with families on this unknown journey. WE take baby steps . First, get eyes in the house. There are many ways you can do that, speak with their PCP (Primary Care Physician).

Request orders for home health, physical therapy, occupational therapy, skilled nursing. It’s covered by their health insurance and it gives you a baseline to start. It helps their doctors see what’s happening as well.

If there is no reason to order home health, there are other things available.

You can start with a baby cam in the kitchen so you can observe what’s happening from that perspective. Are they eating?

I had a client that every time the daughter purchased food and put it in the refrigerator, she waited for her to leave and she cleaned it all out and threw all the food away.

She had early-stage dementia and her OCD was causing her to get rid of clutter. In her case, she had lost substantial weight and that was the first clue.

A new technology that’s available is AI (artificial intelligence). It’s nonevasive, no camera, not wearable. It works with sensors placed in the home to learn the patterns of your loved one. Once it learns their routine it can monitor falling, food intake, reduction in walking speed, wandering during the night, not getting out of bed, increased bathroom activity.

It can also monitor their heart rate in bed. The family can have an app on their phone that can alert them to issues and it can be monitored by a local home health company.

Knowledge is power, if you know the progression of your loved ones aging process you can plan for whatever comes your way. When it’s time to get a specialist involved, call a Neurologist or Cardiologist.

Do they need someone setting up their medications or need an automated dispenser? Should someone be coming in a few days a week to help? Is it time to plan for assisted living ?

All these things are now in your hands, it’s terrible but reality.

You’ve become their parent.

Breathe and realize there are people out there to help you.

One word of wisdom I must share, “YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE THE BAD GUY”!

Make the bad guy the doctor, the advocate, motor vehicle division – anyone but YOU, the person they need to know is in their corner.

If you need help or encouragement as a Caregiver give us a call at  386-847-2322  or check out our  Caregiver Support Group. Our  Senior Advisors  are here to walk with you through this journey.

Benefits of Assisted Living

By Donna Nichols • May 2, 2025
Assisted living has many benefits, especially for older adults or people needing help with daily activities but not requiring full-time medical care. Here's a quick breakdown: Independence and support Residents get to maintain a level of independence while having access to help with things like: Bathing, dressing, or grooming Medication management Meal preparation So they still have freedom without the stress of handling everything alone. Access to care Staff is usually available 24/7, and while it’s not a nursing home, many places have nurses or aides on hand for basic health needs, depending on their licensure. It’s a safety net in case anything happens. Meals & housekeeping Daily meals, cleaning, laundry, and other chores are usually included, which reduces stress and gives you more time to enjoy life. Social life Assisted living communities often have activities, group outings, and common areas, which can help prevent loneliness and boost mental health. Safety & security These places are designed with safety in mind, such as grab bars, emergency call systems, and accessible layouts. Plus, knowing someone’s always nearby gives peace of mind. Peace of mind (for families, too) Families often feel relieved knowing their loved one is in a supportive environment where help is readily available. As you can see, assisted living has many benefits. If you feel it is unsafe for you or your loved one to live alone, please consider assisted living. It will give you peace of mind and them the safety and security they require.  If you or a loved one is ready to move to assisted living, please call us at 386-847-2322. We are experts in senior care.

What’s in Your Box?

By Donna Nichols • April 8, 2025
What does that mean? It means what’s important to you. What do you want to take with you should you leave your home and move to an assisted living community? Assisted living apartments typically range from 500 to 900 square feet, so if you come from a home that is 2,000 square feet, you will be losing a significant amount of square footage. What’s important to me may not be important to you; it differs for everyone. You’ll want to balance practical needs with personal comforts when thinking about what to bring. Here's a breakdown of what might be in your box and what to consider taking with you: When preparing to move into an assisted living community, the "box" is a metaphor for the essentials or comforts you’re packing to make the space your own. Here’s what could go in that box: Personal Essentials: Clothing: Comfortable, easy-to-wear clothes, including shoes that are safe for walking (like non-slip footwear). Toiletries: Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, lotion, and other personal hygiene items. Medications: A well-organized container for daily meds (check with staff for any medication regulations). Comforting Personal Items: Photographs: Family pictures, old albums, or framed photos of pets can help create a homier feel. Favorite Books or Magazines: If you love to read, packing a few favorite books or magazines can be comforting. Blankets or Throw Pillows: Soft, cozy items that remind you of home. Technology: Cell phone or tablet: Stay in touch with family and friends. If needed, a simple phone with larger buttons might be helpful. Charger and headphones: Keep your devices powered up and ready for entertainment or communication. Entertainment & Hobbies: Crafts, puzzles, or knitting: Hobbies like knitting, crocheting, or painting can offer a good mental boost. Music: A playlist or a device with your favorite tunes. Maybe even a small portable speaker. Documents: Important papers: Health documents, insurance information, and personal identification should always be within easy reach. Safety Items: Walkers or canes: If you use mobility aids, don't forget these items. Glasses and Hearing Aids: Any vision or hearing accessories you rely on to help with daily life. What would you take with you? When moving into an assisted living community, you may not have the space for everything you own, so bringing only the most meaningful and necessary items is important. Here's a breakdown of what to take with you: Personal Care and Health Items: Your medications, medical devices (like CPAP machines), and other health-related essentials should come. Items like hearing aids, glasses, and dentures are crucial to have on hand. Don’t forget a first aid kit with basic items like band-aids, antiseptic wipes, and a thermometer. Bedding and Furniture: Sheets, blankets, and pillows that are soft and familiar. If allowed, take small, comfortable furniture like a favorite chair or nightstand. Decorative Touches: Personal touches such as a family photo frame, a small vase, or your favorite artwork can make a new space feel welcoming. Consider a small rug to help make the room feel warmer and more comfortable. Clothing: Comfortable clothing that suits the climate where you’ll be living. Slippers and non-slip shoes are very important for safety and comfort. Seasonal clothing: Depending on the time of year, pack sweaters, jackets, hats, or lighter clothes. Technology: Smartphone or tablet for keeping in touch with family and friends. A Kindle or e-reader could be a great option if you like to read but want to save space. Tangible Keepsakes: A small heirloom, a favorite book, or a memory box filled with meaningful trinkets can bring emotional comfort in a new place. Food & Kitchen Tools (if allowed): Some assisted living communities may allow you to have a few personal items for snacks, like a mini fridge or microwave in your room. Favorite snacks or special foods you enjoy might be comforting to have on hand. Considerations for Your New Space Each assisted living community has its own rules and space limitations, so it’s a good idea to ask what you can bring and what is already provided. Many communities offer furniture, housekeeping, and even activities, so your primary focus may be personalizing your space with items that truly bring you joy and comfort. Ultimately, the most important things to take will help you feel settled, safe, and supported in this new chapter of your life. What’s in your box for this kind of move? Are there any personal items you would want to make sure are packed?

Live in the Now

By Shar Barron • April 1, 2025
Why do we wait? Now is here. Buy the pretty flowers, eat the cake, call that old friend, and tell “your person” you love them. I see couples staring at their phones in restaurants instead of each other, and it saddens me. My husband is gone, and oh, how I’d love to sit and stare at him, talk to him over a meal. I used to go home and hear, “How was your day?” Now, I hear only silence. I didn’t miss his voice until it was no more. What I wouldn’t give to hear it again. Living in the now means you look forward to that greeting or sharing that meal. Who can I tell my secrets to? Who will never tell another soul? My guy was my confidant, and I miss that so much! I have no one to be silly with or cry with; all that is gone forever. You need to breathe. Sometimes, that little breath gives you time to remember the good things. Instead of rushing around and trying to do so much… Today is a gift. That gift is now, and if you take a breath… Sometimes, you realize how blessed you are. Look up at the sky, listen to the birds chirp, and watch the sun rise and set… Just take that moment, take that breath, and enjoy the now. If you think of someone, don’t hesitate to call them. If you want to go somewhere, don’t wait. The best advice that can be given is to simply breathe and recognize that this moment is the most important part of your day. The NOW matters. You realize it too late most of the time. Value the NOW. Make the NOW matter! Embrace the precious little moments. Savor the nonsensical words. The NOW is priceless; realize it before you don’t have someone to share it with. Live in the NOW before it’s gone.  God gave you the gift of NOW - what a priceless treasure. Grab it and enjoy those NOW moments. There are so many, and those memories are baked into your bones to treasure forever.
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