Caregiver Issues

Donna Nichols • April 4, 2024

Do you care for an elder? Maybe it’s a family member like my situation. I’m caring for my 95-year-old mother who will be 96 in April. Do you ever find yourself losing it? I do. I find myself yelling at her, but then I wonder if I’m really yelling AT her or just yelling because she can’t hear well. Caregiving is HARD!!!!


If you find yourself losing it with your loved one, you’re not alone. I find myself losing it a lot more often than I used to. Here at Assisted Living Made Simple, we hold 4 Alzheimer’s/dementia caregiver support groups a month and while my mom doesn’t have Alzheimer’s, she does have bouts with dementia. I know the importance of taking time for yourself, but do I take time for myself? No, I don’t. I work 40 hours a week, go home, get her showered, dressed, fed, and sit with her until she’s ready to go to bed. In the morning, I get her out of bed, fed, dressed and ready for the day, then off to work and it starts all over again. On the weekends, she’s mine all day and night. It’s exhausting.


When my husband and I made the decision to move her in with us, everyone said they would be there to help us, but where are they now that we need them? I understand that we are all busy, but come on, we need a break! If you are a caregiver, you know what I mean. I have caregivers for my mother 3 – 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, so my husband has her the rest of the day. Luckily, she doesn’t require a lot of care, she’s still somewhat self-sufficient, but you must be there to make sure she doesn’t fall, and she can’t prepare her own meals or get her own drinks. She cannot shower by herself, and she needs standby assist while dressing; these two things she will only let me handle.


My only other option is having a caregiver come in on the weekend too, but that is pricey. And if I only want an hour or two it won’t work; most caregivers won’t come unless it’s 4 hours or more. I know I’m not alone out there; I know you are going through the same things I am. How are you coping with these issues? I’d really love to know; maybe your ideas can help me.


Do you have to separate holidays like I do? I have spent many holidays with just my mom and myself because my husband goes to his brothers with his children and our grandchildren, but that is too much for my mom, so it ends up just the two of us. This is so hard because you feel torn between the two. How do you cope with a situation like this? I try to put it out of my mind and think I will have other holidays with the grandkids, and they will be even more special.


This past Easter, my husband went to his brothers like usual, but my two nephews and their families came over and it was so nice; my mother was so happy to have her family there. We all ran around outside, while she sat there and watched us. She was so full of joy.


After they left, which wasn’t until around 7:00 p.m., I gave mom her shower and got her settled down. I went to take my shower and when I came out, she was in her chair fast asleep; she was exhausted. She got up in the morning and couldn’t stop talking about what a great Easter she had. It really is the little things that make a difference.



If you are dealing with some of the same issues I am, please give me a call and let’s chat. I’d really like to understand how you cope. Maybe we can help each other. 386-847-2322. 

Benefits of Assisted Living

By Donna Nichols • May 2, 2025
Assisted living has many benefits, especially for older adults or people needing help with daily activities but not requiring full-time medical care. Here's a quick breakdown: Independence and support Residents get to maintain a level of independence while having access to help with things like: Bathing, dressing, or grooming Medication management Meal preparation So they still have freedom without the stress of handling everything alone. Access to care Staff is usually available 24/7, and while it’s not a nursing home, many places have nurses or aides on hand for basic health needs, depending on their licensure. It’s a safety net in case anything happens. Meals & housekeeping Daily meals, cleaning, laundry, and other chores are usually included, which reduces stress and gives you more time to enjoy life. Social life Assisted living communities often have activities, group outings, and common areas, which can help prevent loneliness and boost mental health. Safety & security These places are designed with safety in mind, such as grab bars, emergency call systems, and accessible layouts. Plus, knowing someone’s always nearby gives peace of mind. Peace of mind (for families, too) Families often feel relieved knowing their loved one is in a supportive environment where help is readily available. As you can see, assisted living has many benefits. If you feel it is unsafe for you or your loved one to live alone, please consider assisted living. It will give you peace of mind and them the safety and security they require.  If you or a loved one is ready to move to assisted living, please call us at 386-847-2322. We are experts in senior care.

What’s in Your Box?

By Donna Nichols • April 8, 2025
What does that mean? It means what’s important to you. What do you want to take with you should you leave your home and move to an assisted living community? Assisted living apartments typically range from 500 to 900 square feet, so if you come from a home that is 2,000 square feet, you will be losing a significant amount of square footage. What’s important to me may not be important to you; it differs for everyone. You’ll want to balance practical needs with personal comforts when thinking about what to bring. Here's a breakdown of what might be in your box and what to consider taking with you: When preparing to move into an assisted living community, the "box" is a metaphor for the essentials or comforts you’re packing to make the space your own. Here’s what could go in that box: Personal Essentials: Clothing: Comfortable, easy-to-wear clothes, including shoes that are safe for walking (like non-slip footwear). Toiletries: Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, lotion, and other personal hygiene items. Medications: A well-organized container for daily meds (check with staff for any medication regulations). Comforting Personal Items: Photographs: Family pictures, old albums, or framed photos of pets can help create a homier feel. Favorite Books or Magazines: If you love to read, packing a few favorite books or magazines can be comforting. Blankets or Throw Pillows: Soft, cozy items that remind you of home. Technology: Cell phone or tablet: Stay in touch with family and friends. If needed, a simple phone with larger buttons might be helpful. Charger and headphones: Keep your devices powered up and ready for entertainment or communication. Entertainment & Hobbies: Crafts, puzzles, or knitting: Hobbies like knitting, crocheting, or painting can offer a good mental boost. Music: A playlist or a device with your favorite tunes. Maybe even a small portable speaker. Documents: Important papers: Health documents, insurance information, and personal identification should always be within easy reach. Safety Items: Walkers or canes: If you use mobility aids, don't forget these items. Glasses and Hearing Aids: Any vision or hearing accessories you rely on to help with daily life. What would you take with you? When moving into an assisted living community, you may not have the space for everything you own, so bringing only the most meaningful and necessary items is important. Here's a breakdown of what to take with you: Personal Care and Health Items: Your medications, medical devices (like CPAP machines), and other health-related essentials should come. Items like hearing aids, glasses, and dentures are crucial to have on hand. Don’t forget a first aid kit with basic items like band-aids, antiseptic wipes, and a thermometer. Bedding and Furniture: Sheets, blankets, and pillows that are soft and familiar. If allowed, take small, comfortable furniture like a favorite chair or nightstand. Decorative Touches: Personal touches such as a family photo frame, a small vase, or your favorite artwork can make a new space feel welcoming. Consider a small rug to help make the room feel warmer and more comfortable. Clothing: Comfortable clothing that suits the climate where you’ll be living. Slippers and non-slip shoes are very important for safety and comfort. Seasonal clothing: Depending on the time of year, pack sweaters, jackets, hats, or lighter clothes. Technology: Smartphone or tablet for keeping in touch with family and friends. A Kindle or e-reader could be a great option if you like to read but want to save space. Tangible Keepsakes: A small heirloom, a favorite book, or a memory box filled with meaningful trinkets can bring emotional comfort in a new place. Food & Kitchen Tools (if allowed): Some assisted living communities may allow you to have a few personal items for snacks, like a mini fridge or microwave in your room. Favorite snacks or special foods you enjoy might be comforting to have on hand. Considerations for Your New Space Each assisted living community has its own rules and space limitations, so it’s a good idea to ask what you can bring and what is already provided. Many communities offer furniture, housekeeping, and even activities, so your primary focus may be personalizing your space with items that truly bring you joy and comfort. Ultimately, the most important things to take will help you feel settled, safe, and supported in this new chapter of your life. What’s in your box for this kind of move? Are there any personal items you would want to make sure are packed?

Live in the Now

By Shar Barron • April 1, 2025
Why do we wait? Now is here. Buy the pretty flowers, eat the cake, call that old friend, and tell “your person” you love them. I see couples staring at their phones in restaurants instead of each other, and it saddens me. My husband is gone, and oh, how I’d love to sit and stare at him, talk to him over a meal. I used to go home and hear, “How was your day?” Now, I hear only silence. I didn’t miss his voice until it was no more. What I wouldn’t give to hear it again. Living in the now means you look forward to that greeting or sharing that meal. Who can I tell my secrets to? Who will never tell another soul? My guy was my confidant, and I miss that so much! I have no one to be silly with or cry with; all that is gone forever. You need to breathe. Sometimes, that little breath gives you time to remember the good things. Instead of rushing around and trying to do so much… Today is a gift. That gift is now, and if you take a breath… Sometimes, you realize how blessed you are. Look up at the sky, listen to the birds chirp, and watch the sun rise and set… Just take that moment, take that breath, and enjoy the now. If you think of someone, don’t hesitate to call them. If you want to go somewhere, don’t wait. The best advice that can be given is to simply breathe and recognize that this moment is the most important part of your day. The NOW matters. You realize it too late most of the time. Value the NOW. Make the NOW matter! Embrace the precious little moments. Savor the nonsensical words. The NOW is priceless; realize it before you don’t have someone to share it with. Live in the NOW before it’s gone.  God gave you the gift of NOW - what a priceless treasure. Grab it and enjoy those NOW moments. There are so many, and those memories are baked into your bones to treasure forever.
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