Caregiver Guilt – 5 Effective Ways To Deal With It

Donna Nichols • August 11, 2022

What is Caregiver Guilt?

Guilt is a feeling we get when we do something wrong or feel that we should have done something differently. When we are caring for someone, there are going to be times when we second-guess ourselves and our decisions. This is perfectly normal!

Caregiver guilt usually comes about when we compare our own abilities to care for someone to an idealized version of what a caregiver should be. This can be especially true if we are caring for a loved one and feel like we are falling short in some way.

If you answer YES to any of the following then chances are…you are dealing with caregiver guilt.

  1. Do you feel trapped?
  2. Are you resentful?
  3. Do you feel others are doing a better job?
  4. Do you wish it was over?

These are normal feelings and there is no reason to feel guilty. I know it’s easy for someone to say that, but it’s the truth.

If you find it too difficult to deal with, PLEASE check out one or all of our five caregiver groups throughout Volusia County. Or contact us today about the many assisted living communities that can help in caregiving. 

How to Deal With Caregiver Guilt?

Now that you know what caregiver guilt is and realize you have it, what do you do now? How do you get over it or past it?

There are a few things you can do to deal with caregiver guilt and the myths that come with it:

1. Admit that the guilt is real

First and foremost, you must be able to admit to yourself that the guilt exists, then you will be able to deal with it in a rational manner. Notice when you feel guilty and acknowledge those feelings. Example: I feel so bad I yelled at mom this morning, I’m just so exhausted. Noticing when and why the guilt comes on can help you understand why you feel guilty and overcome it.

2. Setting Unrealistic Expectations

Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself? Setting your goals too high can lead to the guilt you feel and add to unnecessary stress on your mind and body. Thinking things like you should be able to take care of everything without feeling exhausted, or that you can never move your loved one to an assisted living community are just unrealistic.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they need help and they become drained. Don’t set unrealistic goals for yourself. Take it easy on yourself, caregiving is an extremely tiring job.

3. Comparing Yourself to Other Caregivers

Don’t compare your caregiving with someone else’s. You know the old saying, The grass is always greener? It may look that way on the outside, but inside that caregiver could be hurting just as much as you are and they don’t want you to think of them as failing. It may appear that they are better at coping with stress, finding resources, handling family life, and working, but you know very little. Nobody can do it all by themselves and there is no such thing as the perfect caregiver. Do NOT compare.

4. Find the Positive

Find positive ways of coping, such as writing in a journal, taking regular breaks, and exercising. These are good ways to improve your mood as well as help rid your mind of the guilt built up inside.

Think about all of the positive things that have come out of caring for your loved one. When you constantly dwell on the guilt, you tend to forget all the wonderful moments you have with your loved one and all the awesome things you have been able TO DO for them.

Focus on the positive and the negative will fade away.

5. Join a Group

Join a caregiver support group. It’s a great way to meet others who are feeling the same guilt you are and you will realize you are not alone. You can also benefit from the people in these groups by learning their techniques for coping with the guilt and stress of caregiving.

We at Assisted Living Made Simple hold five (5) caregiver support groups a month throughout Volusia County, please find one that fits your schedule and find the support you need.

You do NOT have to do this alone. We are here for you!

Holiday Visits: How to Spot Changes in a Loved One’s Needs

By Donna Nichols • December 2, 2025
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Gratitude in Every Season

By Donna Nichols • November 13, 2025
As Thanksgiving approaches, we’re reminded that gratitude isn’t just a holiday tradition — it’s a way of life. At Assisted Senior Services, we see it daily: in the quiet strength of caregivers, the wisdom of our seniors, and the small moments that make a big difference. We believe gratitude is more than a feeling. It’s a practice. A way of seeing the world, even in challenging times. For seniors, caregivers, and families, this season can stir a mix of emotions. There may be joy in gathering, but also grief, fatigue, or change. That’s why we hold space for all of it — and honor the quiet strength it takes to keep showing up with love. Gratitude doesn’t erase hardship, but it helps us carry it. It reminds us that even in uncertainty, there are still ordinary gifts: a warm hand to hold, a shared laugh, a moment of peace. Whether you’re caring for a loved one, navigating new challenges, or simply pausing to reflect, this season invites us to slow down and appreciate the ordinary gifts around us — a warm smile, a shared story, a helping hand. We are grateful for: • The families who trust us to walk alongside them, through transitions and triumphs. • The caregivers who show up with compassion and grace. • The caregivers who offer comfort, dignity, and patience every single day. • The seniors who teach us resilience, humor, and the value of every day – reminding us of what really matters. This Thanksgiving, we honor your journey. We celebrate your courage. And we’re here to support you — not just during the holidays, but all year long. So, whether your Thanksgiving is bustling or quiet, traditional or tender, we hope you find something to hold onto — and someone to hold it with. From all of us at Assisted Senior Services, thank you for being part of our community. We’re honored to support you, and we wish you a season filled with warmth, connection, and care. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Quiet Echo of Love: Grieving in Our Senior Years

By Donna Nichols • November 5, 2025
A Tender Season for Tender Hearts As the holidays approach, grief can feel especially sharp. The empty chair at the table, the missing voice in a favorite carol, the traditions once shared—all can stir deep memories and longing. This season, give yourself permission to feel it all. Whether you're lighting a candle in remembrance or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts, know that your love still lives at every moment you honor it. You're not alone in this. Many are walking through the holidays with tender hearts, and together, we can find comfort, connection, and peace. When Someone You Love Is Gone: Grief in Our Later Years As we grow older, we come to understand life in ways we never could when we were young. We learn what truly matters. We value time, quiet moments, and the people who’ve shared the journey with us. And sometimes, we find ourselves facing one of life’s most difficult truths: saying goodbye to someone we’ve loved for decades. Loss in our later years feels different, whether it’s a spouse, a sibling, a lifelong friend, or a partner in the everyday routines of life. It comes after a shared history, after raising families, building homes, facing hard times, and celebrating joys. When that kind of bond is broken, the world doesn’t just feel quieter. It feels unfamiliar. A Different Kind of Grief Grief in our senior years carries a certain weight. It’s not just about the person we’ve lost—it’s about the life we built with them—the morning coffee routines, the inside jokes no one else would understand, the hand we held through every season of life. It’s also about identity. Many lose someone they love and a part of who they were when they were with them. There’s no time limit to this kind of sorrow. Some days, we might feel strong and steady. Other days, a photograph or a familiar song can bring us to our knees. That’s the nature of deep love—it echoes. Quiet Spaces After a loss, the house can feel too big. The calendar is too empty. Conversations can feel lonelier without the one who always knew what to say—or when not to say anything. But it’s okay to feel those things. You’re not doing anything wrong if grief lingers. You’re not expected to "move on" in any set amount of time. Some losses become part of who we are. We carry the people we love with us—not just in memory but in the way we live—in the recipes we still make, the phrases we still say, and the stories we still tell. Finding Comfort, Bit by Bit There may come a day when you feel the sun again—not just on your skin, but in your spirit. A day when the laughter of grandchildren warms something inside you. When you speak your loved one’s name and smile instead of crying. These moments are not betrayals of your grief. They’re signs of your love still growing, still finding new ways to live in the world. You are allowed joy, rest, and the ability to miss them forever while still living a beautiful life. You’re Not Alone If you’re walking through grief now, take heart in knowing you’re not walking alone. In these later chapters of life, many of us are navigating the same path. And sometimes, just speaking their name or sharing a story over a cup of tea can make all the difference. Let others in. Join a group, call an old friend, or write down your thoughts. Sometimes, healing comes not from forgetting but from remembering—together. Because love doesn't end. Not with age. Not with time. Not even with death. It simply changes shape and stays with us, always. Assisted Senior Services hosts a grief support group on the first Wednesday of each month at All Saints Lutheran Church, 751 Dunlawton Ave., Port Orange, FL. The group begins at 5:00 p.m. Please join us should you need support; it is free to attend.